You have been a beautiful experience in a time of much stress and change. I’ve always toyed with the idea of starting a blog; you are the blog that made this dream a reality, a breeding ground for creativity and the birth of a writer. You were an awe-inspiring experiment, a window through which I realized a deeply buried passion for words.
We began our forray into the space between the lines precariously; I was lost and stressed and so very alone. You listened. You gave me encouragement. Then one day, you began to inspire me to write happy thought bubbles instead of rain clouds. We began to dance and think outside of the boundaries. We dreamed. And when we realized we could make people smile, the purpose began to creep in through our toes. The purpose that gave us a purpose. The purpose to do good in the world.
What started as a dumping ground for problems soon became a playground of words and stories. Everything I’ve ever written has been first draft; I have learned how to get the words out. However, being exposed to a network of writers through WordPress and college, I’ve come to realize just how powerful and poetic crafted words can be. There’s a bitter and exhausting satisfaction to sculpting words, attempting to force words together into a luxurious sculpture only to conclude that the pieces will never connect. You throw the mess to the floor in agony, only to realize the clutter you attempted to amass upon a pedestal was really a masterpiece of beautiful destruction upon the floor. It was in the disarray you found beauty, not in the perfection of an impossible sculpture.
MediocreNINjA, it’s been quite the ride. Created in the shadow of insecurity and defeat, we have risen to new places we never thought we’d be in. We’ve risen above the mediocrity. It is time to retire the bonds of self-deprecating labels and tackle new giants, label-less and free and utterly, hopelessly human. It is time to be ourselves and inspire others to do the same.
Reader, if you’ve ever liked or commented on any of these posts, I appreciate you more than you will ever know. You saved my life. A word, a sentence, an entire post… I never knew another living being would read these brain thoughts. What a bizarre world. It is painful to exist, to be heard and acknowledged, but what a glorious pain.
With this post I bid you all adieu. It is time to retire MediocreNINjA and move on to a space where I am not masked, a place to flounder and struggle and create clouds from the slowly dying fires that used to consume a small girl with no hope. MediocreNINjA will live on, but as a now-silent companion and reminder of what a beautiful experience a beginner’s writing can be.
Thank you for the ride.